


Three Pieces of Twine

by Monkey45214



Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: AU, BAMF Armin Arlert, BAMF Eren Yeager, BAMF Mikasa Ackerman, Betrayal, Canon-Typical Violence, Codependency, Dark, Eren Canonically Murders, Getting Together, Manga Spoilers, Multi, Murder, Trust Issues, Unhealthy Relationships, so it really is not ooc
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-09-02
Updated: 2018-12-31
Packaged: 2019-07-05 17:28:51
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 4
Words: 9,042
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15868344
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Monkey45214/pseuds/Monkey45214
Summary: After the night awash with sweat and blood, after child met child, after they formed a bond through fear and adrenaline, they kept tally.A piece of twine and strands of color became their symbol.*****Manga Spoilers*****This is a really Dark Au, but it will have some fluff. You have been warned.





	1. The Creation Of The Bonds

**Author's Note:**

> I have always thought that this story has made some interesting characters and relationships. I have always found the main trio to be interesting and I wanted to play with the dynamic slightly.
> 
> Weird thing is, I don’t think this is that out of character for them. The most out of character parts are Eren being slightly observant and Armin willing to kill(but I think even that is in character for him).
> 
> Of course I don’t own the characters or anything like that.
> 
> READ THE TAGS PLEASE.  
> READER DISCRETION IS ADVISED.

After the night awash with sweat and blood, after child met child, after they formed a bond through fear and adrenaline, they kept tally.

 

A piece of twine and strands of color became their symbol.

 

It was talked about once. While they collected wood for their mother, the boy looked over at the girl,” I want something to remind me of what I did to those monsters.”

 

If she noticed the trembling voice filled with emotion, she said nothing. Her face had become a permanent blank slate since the clarity on her ugly world. “Okay.”

 

————-

 

Later the next day the girl handed him a long piece of twine, and on that was two braids of color that started at the same point and intertwined but eventually branched off. The boy immediately noticed something, the threads of rich color matched the shirts he later stained red.

 

“Thanks Mikasa. You are the best. But where is yours?”

 

She looked down bashfully. “ I wouldn’t have done it without you egging me on.”

 

Eren’s face became set in determination. “Well since you made this one, you need to show me how to make yours.”

 

A pleased smile made her mouth curve slightly.

 

————

 

Mikasa had a twine with a single braid of color around her wrist, while Eren had one wrapped around his neck with a intertwined set.

 

They were never taken off. They were never explained to outsiders, but Eren’s father would sometimes look between the two pieces of twine with a strange glint in his eyes.

 

————

 

When the world split with a second distinct Before and After there was a decision made. The duo needed to become a trio. Mikasa and Eren needed Armin, and he needed them. But Mikasa had issues trusting someone with Eren without seeing him doing the same thing she did for Eren. 

 

“Eren. Armin needs a piece of twine before I fight for him.”

 

His green eyes scanned her, looking straight into her soul. He dug around for true intentions and unspoken messages. Eren knew how she hid from the outside world. He even encouraged it, said he could take on the world for her, she just needed to worry about surviving and being happy.

 

But he also needed her to help him fight and protect precious, perfect Armin.

 

“Okay, we needed to figure out how to get some food anyway.”

 

—————

 

Armin was brought into the plan with Mikasa looking him in the eyes and stating,”If we have to rely on the rations we get, we will die. We need something other than them to eat. Eren and I can’t steal without getting caught. So we need to steal and kill the witnesses. And probably hide the bodies afterwards. We need your planning skills or Eren and I will get caught.”

 

Armin paled and his breaths started to get shaky. The duo could see his brain working over the words, breaking everything down.

 

Eren was shocked Armin didn’t immediately shoot it down, but understood when Armin next spoke,”We  _ do _ need more resources. We have no shelter, dirty water, little to no poor quality food.”

 

Armin started pacing. His worn shoes clicking on the uneven stones.  His blonde hair swaying and bouncing with every step, drawing both Eren and Mikasa’s eyes. The pacing was making his puffing breaths even out.

 

“Okay I am in. But we need to plan this out some more.”

 

——————

 

They built a semi-solid plan that would grant them some room for improvising. They targeted a man from a local gang that killed, raped, and stole. Mikasa followed him for a week to pin a rough schedule on the man. All of this had to be done before Armin said they could do anything.

 

During this week, Eren became antsy. He understood Armin’s need to plan. Armin needed reassurance that came from a well devised plan. He understood all Mikasa needed was a promise of adrenaline and a good fight, as long as she was with those she trusted. But he needed action. He needed blood and sweat. He, above all, needed to know he was ridding the world of monsters. 

 

And if he couldn’t kill some Titans yet, he guessed human monsters would have to do.

 

He just needed them to enact the plan  _ soon _ . The anticipation was twisting his stomach so much it was almost  _ painful _ . The excitement made him want to bounce on the balls of his feet and tap his fingers. But he didn’t want to freak out Armin or Mikasa about how giddy he was, they already gave him strange looks when he talked about killing the Titans.

 

———-

 

When the time came their bellies trembled in hunger, their throats begged for cleanish water, their skin begged for relief against the chill. Armin was ready.

 

The duo gave a knife they found in a messy kitchen near an alley they lived near to Armin. It was given to Armin paired with a twin set of expectant looks. 

 

While on the way to the house, Armin held onto Eren and Mikasa’s hands with whitened knuckles. Neither said anything, but Eren squeezed his hand back and started swing their clasped hands back and forth. This seemed to calm Armin down enough that some of the tension gathered in his shoulders seemed to release. Without looking over at what the other two were doing Mikasa leaned up against Armin’s side, making him relax even more.

 

Eren was beaming by the time they made it to their target. Armin’s face twisted with determination and nervousness. Mikasa was a blank slate as always, but if one looked carefully enough they could see a slight uptick in one of the corners of her mouth.

 

Their plan went into effect almost immediately. Mikasa grabbed onto the man while Eren ushered Armin into the house and locking the door behind them. Mikasa had the man’s arms behind his back before the man knew it.

 

“H-hey y-you brats! W-what do y-you think you a-are doing?” Mikasa tightened her grip on his arms.

 

“I think you should shut your disgusting mouth. This isn’t even about you right now.” Eren gave him a condescending glare before turning to Armin. His face melted into something fonder and his voice went from hard to comforting.“You need to do it right now.”

 

Armin took a deep breath and looked at Mikasa. She threw some of her hair over her shoulder with a shake of the head before looking at him. “If you don’t go through the plan, we will get caught. And Eren will get in trouble.”

 

“What! N-no p-p-please! N-“

 

Eren starred as the red spread away from the knife his breath hitching. Mikasa felt the intoxicating feeling of the man tensing and going limp on her. Armin watched the light leave the man’s eyes with a sick satisfaction.

 

The duo became a trio.

 

—————

 

Eren and Mikasa sat together to make Armin a piece of twine and a single braid. This was a special braid, it held the color of the man’s shirt, but it was unique in that it had strands of brown, black, and gold woven in it. Representing the start of their unbreakable bond.

 

—————

 

Mikasa had a twine with a single braid of color around her wrist. Eren had one wrapped around his neck with a intertwined set. Armin had one wrapped around his ankle with a single special braid.

 

And the trio won’t say what they mean.

 


	2. Inside Twisted Minds

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A look inside the trio’s minds.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> VIEWER DISCRETION IS HIGHLY ADVISED  
> THIS CAN BE DISTURBING CONTENT  
> SO LOOK AT THE TAGS

The wait until the all three of their group was 15 was excruciating. Eren was restless, Mikasa’s worry grew as the date became closer, and Armin was scared.

 

Eren wanted to destroy the Titans, wanted to rip them apart until they were a pile of goo. He  _ needed _ to kill those monsters, and human monsters were growing boring to kill. He wanted to get out of these blasted walls. He wanted to go to the ocean, to see Armin collect books and treasures, to see Mikasa find out that while that life was cruel, it was also beautiful. Eren wanted to taste  _ freedom _ just once in his short life.  _ Eren wanted. _

 

Mikasa worries about how she would protect Eren and Armin. She knew that Armin could outsmart anyone, but she still  _ worried _ about how his physical limits would affect training. She worried about how brash Eren was. She worried he would make a stupid decision while she wasn’t there. She worried that she wouldn’t be able to take down enough Titans to pave the way for the freedom Eren wanted.  _ Mikasa worried. _

 

Armin was scared of the Titans that ripped his home from him. He was scared of dying a meaningless death against an endless swarm of beasts. He was even more scared of Eren and Mikasa dying,  _ protecting his weak self _ . He was scared of them being caught committing constant murders. He was scared of Mikasa and Eren finally realizing he wasn’t worth it.  _ Armin was scared. _

 

But time goes on regardless of what tiny humans think or feel. It marches in a beat that was steady and unrelenting. The color on the pieces of twine blooms like flower buds in spring. Criminals were disappearing at a more rapid pace, causing the crime within the wall to diminish. The time to join the military was swiftly approaching. Time, continues to march on.

 

—————

 

Eren knew there was something wrong with him. Most people did not enjoy murder.

 

But the hunt for a good target and slowly stalking his prey sent tingles up his spine. The methodical planning was not enjoyable, but it was needed. The thrill of blood satisfied him in ways that was previously unknown.

 

Eren hid his enjoyment as much as he could. Mikasa already had such a harsh view on the world, he didn’t want her to see how twisted his mind was. He didn’t want her to keep believing murder and death was a constant in their world. Eren wanted Mikasa to go to one of the mountains of fire and have the fire to shine in her eyes while a grin tugged at her mouth. Eren wanted Mikasa to find some beauty in their wretched world. He wanted her to be free and  _ happy for once in their horrible  _ **_filthy_ ** _ lives. _

 

Armin was another story. Armin was… the best way to describe Armin was to say he was the only slice of freedom in the walls. 

 

Armin knew the darkness of the world yet focused on the light. But he didn’t ignore the dark like most do, he used it and planned around it. The darkness only stayed in Armin because he saw the use in balancing the two to get the clearest picture possible. He had Hell in his eyes, but their was Heaven in his mind.

 

Armin could be cold and indifferent like the lands of ice beyond the walls. His laughter was as beautiful as any flower on the outside could be. He could be gritty like the salt in the supposed saltwater lakes. Armin was a light to Mikasa’s darkness. He was cautious in nature to Eren’s brash nature. 

 

He didn’t want to taint Armin’s mind with the knowledge that Eren may be worse than the monsters they killed. That Eren tamed the monster within him to only thirst for the blood of those who have wronged the innocent. That Eren probably has killed more people than most soldiers have killed Titans. But since  Armin had such an intelligent mind, he probably already knew, and that made shame clench up in his stomach.

 

Eren wanted Titan blood on his hands, but he also wanted Armin and Mikasa. And sadly he didn’t know which he wanted more. Both seemed like not wants but  _ needs. _

 

—————

 

Mikasa didn’t particularly care about the people who died at her hand. She was numb to everything. Their screams and blood didn’t matter. All that mattered was the world was slightly cleaner and she had money to give to Armin to feed the three of them. 

 

Her piece of twine was fully covered with colors. Her new piece on her other wrist was sparse in comparison. Sometimes she would look at all the colors and marvel at the variety.

 

Each murder meant one less little girl exposed to the harsh world.

 

Each murder meant one less little boy that would realize they all were stuck in a cage and would eventually feed hungry beasts.

 

Each murder meant one little boy would not suffer in a world where his intelligence was consistently wasted.

 

So her two pieces of twine continues to bloom in color.

 

—————-

 

Armin tried to be useful.

 

Truly he did. He worked to figure out how to save and spend money so he could keep the three of them alive. He rationed dinner money and portions. He planned murders with Eren because Eren struggled with strategizing without someone to bounce ideas off of (and most likely veto some bad ones). Armin also kept track of Mikasa’s moods and tried to find ways to cheer her up.

 

Armin knew that out of all three of them, he was the weak link. He had no physical strength and he didn’t have the build to become particularly strong. He didn’t  provide as much money with his small jobs as their stealing. And he was so timid all the time he wondered why they liked to keep someone that was reminiscent of a shy mouse.

 

He didn’t partake in as many of the murders as the other two. He mainly dealt with the selling of stolen items and money flow. Rarely was there a bloodied knife in hand. Murder felt unfulfilling and unnecessary, they were all going to die anyway. So he only really did it when invited along, they was a large group of targets, or when money was particularly low.

 

And when it came time to join the military, he would probably be the worst soldier the instructors have ever seen. He would bog down Mikasa and Eren’s progress. And he knew down in his  _ very bones _ that those two would be some of the most amazing soldiers the military ever had.

 

He just hoped they would let him tag along with them.

 

————-

 

The disappearance of criminals wasn’t really noticed for about a year. There was no need to keep track of all the filth stains of the town. But, the underground noticed.

 

Any person in sex trafficking knew they were in trouble, everyone partaking in the trade disappeared. Bosses to grunt men simply stopped existing. Over half the trade was wiped out in a large vicinity.

 

This carried over to anyone involved in child murder, slavery, chronic or major thefts, or anything of the like. Over half of the criminal network was gone within a year time span.

 

Some said it was the government or a big boss. But truthfully, no one knew where all these people were. Surely if they were being killed, then the killers would be caught? Right?

 

They didn’t know. And that terrified them.

 

————-

 

Mikasa, Armin, and Eren were sitting on a dirt path overlooking a meadow. It was a rich green with tiny yellow and pale pink flowers dotting the green. A stream cut a narrow meandering path through the meadow. They found this pretty place while disposing some of the bodies, now they stay here when all three had free time.

 

“Tomorrow is the day.”

 

Mikasa looked at the other two from the corner of her eye. Armin was fiddling with a few strands of grass and Eren was watching the birds flying overhead while bouncing his knee.

 

Eren visibly brightened. He shifted in the dirt, turning towards Armin. “Yeah! We get to join the military tomorrow! One step closer to freedom!”

 

Mikasa loved the bright look in his eyes whenever he talked about freedom. He practically vibrates in passion. And looking at Armin’s fond expression, she wasn’t the only one. She felt guilty having to dim that light right now.

 

“Eren,” grabbing his attention with the combination of name and her reaching out to wrap her fingers around his piece of blooming twine. “If we want to stay in the military, that means no more killing. We can’t afford to get caught.”

 

When Armin noticed how Eren seemed about to protest he spoke up. “We need to devote everything into training. Maybe once we join the Scouting Legion we can start again.”

 

That seemed to placate Eren slightly, but if the pout was any indication, he was not happy with it. But the world was cruel, so he would have to deal with the reality of the situation. Mikasa wasn’t cruel though, as some reassurance she told him in her softest voice,”We can hold off killing filth until we get strong. We need to be strong to hunt down the Titans. We  _ won’t  _ be the weak prey to them anymore.” By the end her voice was sharper than Mikasa’s favorite knife.

 

There was tension within each one of them, a resolve rarely found in those who have seen Hell. Determination fueled all three, but each one’s determination held different reasons. Eren was determined to kill Titans. Mikasa was determined to protect those she cared for and herself. Armin was determined not to be the weak link of the group.

 

————-

 

Mikasa had two pieces of twine blooming with colors of death. Eren had one long piece of twine looped around his neck with an array of colors that his victims wore. Armin had one piece of twine adorning his ankle, it was not as filled with colors as the other two, but there was still quite a variety.

 

And with them, the trio went into military training.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> How is it? Feedback? How is the OCCness? I tried to keep that at a minimal, but I may have slipped up a few times. 
> 
> Comments encourage me to go faster. After a few comments I wrote this within a day. So so so sorry about slow update dates, school is a bitch.
> 
> Have a nice day!


	3. Training Without Murder

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Can they do training without murdering anyone? How will much will be changed because it is an AU?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ******Manga Spoilers******  
> VIEWER DISCRETION ADVISED
> 
> From here on out it is officially AU. While writing I changed some stuff.

Training was an intense experience. It ground the muscles into aching puddles. It forced the keenest minds to the breaking point. And it stripped unwanted personality traits away without remorse.

  
  


And then rebuilt and reshaped them into the military’s desired mold.

  
  


And then started over again.

  
  


Every part of a person was stretched to its limit. The smallest things were examined and corrected. Blank slates and identical people are made for the king. Interesting personalities were pushed aside for the sake of conformity. Faceless and unquestioning meat sacks that rely on orders were eventually made with enough blood, sweat, and tears.

  
  


All this, just in fervent hopes of these puny soldiers defeating gods with deliberate intentions of total catastrophes.

  
  


——————-

  
  


Eren adjusted to training life horribly.

  
  


He didn’t have his usual, but unique, relaxation method. He was constantly on edge. His fingers itched for blood and his ears for screams. He was losing control of his temper. Fights were much faster to start, and he fought dirtier than strictly necessary. It was pure Hell.

  
  


Not to mention Eren was practically useless at training. Mikasa was such a natural that his best couldn’t even compare to her first try. Armin may not be the best recruit, but in Eren eyes he was one of the best. Armin took whatever he did and used his amazing mind to slowly improve his technique. Eren saw how Armin went from the worst in the ODM Gear at the start to competing with some of the best. All by something as small as changing the way he used his pressurized gas. All while Eren was stuck at being slightly above mediocre at whatever he did.

  
  


This was his fucking  _ dream _ . Since he knew what they did, he wanted to join the Survey Corps. He wanted to  _ fly _ . To the point he dragged Mikasa and Armin into training. And yet Eren was a mediocre trainee at best.

  
  


He wanted to  **_fucking_ ** _ murder _ someone.

  
  


His frustrations seemed to only make his cravings for gore worse. Eren felt himself become more irrational and obnoxious, but he couldn’t get rid of all this energy. Fingers were constantly picking at the piece of twine around his neck. He couldn’t let his mask fall for a second or the monster he was would be revealed.

 

His problem controlling only got worse as time went along. Being surrounded by cowards grated on his nerves.

  
  


Eren practically ached. His body yearned for open spaces, his eyes and skin for sunlight, and his fingers for new soil. His very soul yearned for freedom. But freedom seemed to slip from his grasp as time went on. It seemed only the freedom left in this cruel world that could be found in Armin’s eyes and Mikasa’s reassuring hands.

  
  


He was fucking  **tired** .

  
  


——————

  
  


Mikasa adjusted to training life without too many problems.

  
  


Her strength was easy to hone into perfectly executed exercises and a hard muscled body. It brought about a soreness that felt… pleasant. It was a reminder. It was a reminder that no matter what, she was growing stronger. She would never be the prey ever again. She would be strong enough to protect the ones she loved. It made Mikasa want to laugh and smile.

  
  


But she couldn’t.

  
  


Mikasa was not comfortable enough with her fellow trainees to even smile around them. She couldn’t bring herself to even think of trusting any of them.

  
  


Most had faces that sent her stomach turning. Their eyes made her want to cringe into shadows. Innocence. What a hilarious thing to exist in this cruel world. Mikasa remembered when she laughed that freely, when she believed just trying was enough to win, when she wore her heart on her sleeve thinking no one would crush it. Mikasa remembered. She pitied these poor naïve fools. She pitied them because eventually the world as they knew it would crumble before them.

  
  


Then they would understand why she was “a stuck-up antisocial bitch who thinks she is better than everyone else.” How her aloofness protected her from people who could easily pick at and shred her heart like hungry crows. How she couldn’t afford humbleness. Mikasa needed to win and protect the two she loved, she needed to be able to raise them up alongside her to their freedom. And the only way to win was to fight.

  
  


So fight she will.

 

She learned whatever she could in any area to teach Eren and Armin. She fought against other comrades constantly to learn different styles. She used Annie, Reiner, Sasha, Jean, and Ymir to find a style that fit her boys. Eren used more Reiner and Jean techniques. Armin used more Sasha and Ymir techniques. Mikasa was shocked that all three pulled mainly from Annie. Her techniques were easily adaptable.

 

Mikasa helped Eren stay out of fights. Mikasa helped Eren during training as much as he would allow. Mikasa helped distract Eren on days where the bags under his eyes were especially dark. Mikasa helped Eren’s seemingly dwindling self-esteem by sabotaging other trainees to give him a leg up. Mikasa gave help even when Eren didn’t want it because she needed to save at least one of her families from ruin. She needed to give him the tools to fight, so he could win, and to win is to survive.

  
  


Mikasa helped Armin when he was struggling with any particular part of training. Mikasa helped Armin’s horrible self-esteem by praising him when he inevitably surpassed most other trainees. Mikasa helped Armin deal with the heavy training regiment by massaging his sorest muscles after a hard day’s work. Mikasa helped Armin even though he didn’t want Eren and her to protect him. 

 

She needed to protect the ones she loved. What other purpose could she possibly serve?

  
  


So help she will.

  
  


——————

  
  


Armin hated training life. He hated it so much he wanted to scream and run.

  
  


His body was small and weak in comparison to his fellow trainees. His mind was too sharp for the model of a dull soldier. His personality too independent for his instructors to appreciate his biggest advantage, his intelligence.

  
  


He was always the worst of all the trainees and it was incredibly frustrating for Armin to realize he was the weak link.

  
  


The only reason he kept pushing forward was the fact he couldn’t leave Eren and Mikasa. He didn’t think he could function without them. And as useless as Armin was, he wasn’t sure they would live long without him. The two had surprisingly come to rely on Armin’s opinions and deductions. Armin honestly was perplexed they trusted him so much.

  
  


Armin guessed he would tag along as long as he could. That probably wouldn’t be long when his physical limitations were taken into account.

  
  


But he would try.

  
  


\----------------------------------

  
  


Sasha had always fascinated Mikasa.

  
  


Sasha seemed to be so bubbly and naïve, it left Mikasa wondering how so much life was squished into one person. Sasha seemed to have no masks. She was so vulnerable without even realizing it.

 

But appearances weren’t alway right.

  
  


The thing that captured Mikasa’s interest was the shift Sasha did. When it came to food, Sasha stopped being a prey, she became a hunter. A ditzy girl who seemed to be as threatening as a bent spoon would shift into a feral beast. Shortly thereafter, she would shift back into her normal self.

  
  


Mikasa liked to play around with Sasha’s shifting. Teasing her relentlessly in a wide variety of ways to see what would bring the hunter out of the seemingly mind-damaged girl.

 

Food and friends were the only thing that seemed to affect her hunter side.

  
  


Whenever Mikasa moved her teasing away from Sasha to Ymir, Krista, or Connie the shift happened. Be it mentioning how off-putting Ymir’s attitude was, or Krista’s extremely timid nature, or how irritating Connie could become. Sasha’s face would darken with sharp shadows. Sasha’s spine would straighten as fast and as straight as a child who just got a scolding from their mother. Sasha’s eyes sharpen in a ay that seemed to evaluate her threat level.

  
  


Mikasa could see the murder capable in the other’s eyes. So similar to Eren’s during or after a killing.

  
  


Mikasa was fascinated by Sasha.   
  
\-----------------------------

 

Eren was worried about Armin.

 

Over the course of training he had noticed Armin changing. Armin pulled away from casual interactions. He seemed to curl inwards now a days. Almost as if, Armin was stuck in his mind.

 

Which worried Eren to his bones because he knew Armin’s brilliant mind was not a kind place. He had seen a cruelty that was in Armin’s indifference. While Eren was passionate and let emotion rule him, Armin let cold logic and hard facts rule him. In the end you could easily talk Eren down, Armin is hard to convince.

 

The most worrying part was Eren didn’t know what he was fighting. He didn’t know how to combat Armin’s mind or what he was fighting for. He knew he couldn't beat Armin in an argument. But Eren knew whatever it was, it was important enough to change Armin and make him more… melancholy. 

 

So he decided to fix it.

 

===================

 

It was during a chore where Eren and Armin were separated from the other trainees collecting wood that Eren enacted his plan. 

 

As Armin was picking up a stick the width of his wrist Eren blurted out,”Why are you acting so weird?”

 

Armin froze before straightening. Eren noticed Armin’s eyes wouldn’t meet his. “What are you talking about?”

 

Eren stumbled over his words.  _ Maybe I should have asked Mikasa for help _ . “Um, like, you know, you are all weird now,” Eren finished lamely. He could feel his cheeks heating up, but at least it was a relief his blush didn’t reach his ears or Armin would think he was lying.

 

Armin’s face twitched and his eyebrows drew downwards slightly. His eyes searched Eren for answers he couldn’t seem to find. “Eren,  _ what _ are you trying to say.”

 

“I-I don’t know! But you are all sad and stuff now. And you are ignoring me and Mikasa!” _ Okay, this is not going to plan. _ Eren flushed even more as his voice rose to a shout.

 

“Eren calm down. I am not sad. I am not ignoring you and Mikasa. I just am busy with training.” What made Eren’s blood start pumping more vigorously was how his words sounded practiced. Like he was used to telling himself that.

 

“No! Why are you all sad and stuff? Is someone hurting you? Is Shadis giving you too much shit? Because I will beat whoever is bothering you.”  _ Oh, why can’t I just shut up. I am going overboard aren’t I? Why the hell am I getting so angry? _

 

Armin looked stunned.

 

“I am dead serious. You don’t deserve to be treated like that. Sometimes I really want to just stab Shad-”

 

Abruptly Armin snapped a hand over Eren’s mouth. The sticks Armin was carrying thumped to the ground. His eyes had a wild look that made Eren breathless. His hair had a distinctly ruffled look from sweat and became a puffy cloud with how sharp he was whipping his head around to watch their surrounding. His chest rose and fell quickly in small puffs. “Don’t talk like that when we aren’t in a secure place.”

 

Eren’s mouth felt dry at having those Heaven-filled eyes focused on him. And his breaths quicken when he sees there is a bit of Hell in them too.

 

Slowly he raised his hand to remove Armin’s. When he took the hand off his mouth though, he simply intertwined their hands. Their hands swung down to dangle together at their sides.

 

“Armin, please tell me what is happening. I promise I will try to fix it.” Eren was tearing up with frustration. He  _ hated _ that he felt so out of the loop and stupid.  _ Armin _ was in pain and he couldn’t  _ do anything _ .

 

“Nothing, Eren. Nothing at all.” His eyes drifted away from Eren’s.

 

“Stop bullshitting me! I know something happened! I hate seeing you so down and I just wish things were like before. You know, just the three of us,” Eren spoke, starting at a shout and ending a whisper.  His words were paper-thin and cracking. Tears started to carve paths along his cheeks. His hand spasming against Armin’s.

 

Armin looked conflicted. He seemed overwhelmed, angry, defensive, and sad.  _ He still looks fucking  _ **_sad_ ** . His posture was caught between fight and flight, his look both predator and prey. But above all, he looked...  _ confused _ ?

 

“Why are you so worried Eren? Why do you keep pushing at this when we need to focus on other things? We need to be collecting wood right now anyways.”

 

Eren practically foamed at the mouth with all his sputtering. “W-what? Are you- seriously, you gotta- Armin, worri-I am worried.” His speech halted as his brain raced to put together a response. “I love you. I trust you. I want you safe. I want you happy. And all those these apply equally to you and Mikasa.” Eren decided to stick with the basics he knew were true.

 

But such obvious answers seemed to punch the breath out of Armin’s lungs. His Heaven eyes widened and his hand that was still clasped in Eren’s twitched. His expression was a punch to Eren’s gut.

 

But slowly Armin’s face fucking  _ crumbled _ . Tears dripped down from his eyes. “But why? Why do you love me? How? I don’t deserve you  _ or _ Mikasa?” His breaths were puffing out to fast. His whole body was trembling.

 

“Armin…” 

 

Eren didn’t know where to start with that. So instead of words he disentangled their hands and smushed Armin against him. Letting his normal heartbeat lay right above Armin’s twittering one. 

 

Time’s relentless marching seemed to miss a beat in its step.

 

As Armin relaxed against Eren’s chest, Eren started lightly combing his fingers through tangled hair. And with as gentle voice he could manage he asked,“What would we be without you?” 

 

“Better.” It was muffled in the shirt but it twisted at Eren’s heart anyways.

 

“Dead.” He hated how Armin tensed up at that word. “We would have died without your planning. Without you we would be dead or better off dead.

 

And not to mention without you, Mikasa would drive me crazy! And I am sure she could say the same thing about me! You are the perfect balance, and I  _ won’t _ let you keep insulting yourself like this!”

 

By the end Armin was clinging onto Eren’s shirt. Almost like the shouted words were physically hurting him. “No...I am the weakest link.”

 

It was Eren turn to be stunned. He stopped petting Armin’s hair for a split second. His breath seemed stuck in his throat. “Weakest,” Eren said is a shaky voice. “At what? Out of the three of us, you are the smartest. Mikasa is obviously the strongest. But me? I am the weakest link if there is one. I’m not sure I could function without one or both of you. Your brains and compassion are priceless in this cage we call home. And I don’t want you  _ ever _ to say you are weak.”

 

He pulled away just enough to grab onto Armin’s shoulders. Eren made eye contact through both of their tears. Shaking Armin slightly while his voice slowly rose to a yell, yet again. “You are flat out crazy is you think you are weak. I would rather have you have my back and helping me win than anyone else, maybe more than Mikasa. You are amazing! How can you not see that?”

 

_ I really have to stop yelling, someone is going to hear and interrupt. _

 

While getting shook, Armin’s face-and some of his neck- slowly got more red. Once Armin realized Eren paused to catch his breath, he could barely speak louder than Eren’s loud, panting breaths.

 

“Eren… I…”

 

Before either realized what happened Eren smushed Armin up against him, their mouth sloppily tangling.While leaning into the kiss, Armin gripped onto Eren shirt as he felt his own shoulders being manhandled. Their breaths intermingled, bodies meshed together, and eyes fluttered partially closed.

 

After a minute or so Eren pulled back. Looking resolutely at Armin he seemed to order his very soul,”Don’t ever even  _ think _ you are weak.”

 

Armin nodded dazedly making a pleased grin arch across Eren’s face.

 

“I can’t wait to talk to Mikasa. She will have to help me convince you how awesome you are. Because I can tell you right now. Mikasa adores you. I wonder if she will be able to make you blush this hard with a kiss?”

 

Armin squeaked and covered his face. Not before Eren could see a bright blush brighten spread across even more of his face.

 

—————-

 

Armin was concerned.

 

While he was training with his fellow cadets, he started to build something with each of them. It couldn’t be labeled  _ trust _ because it was not even comparable to what he held with Eren and Mikasa. The closest he could come to calling it was a loss of suspicion towards his fellow cadets. This made his facade hard to maintain around them. What he was feeling was bordering on  _ trust _ .

 

Armin didn’t like it.

 

So Armin planned, like he always did.

 

=====================

 

Since all the trio had a break at the same time, they spent it together. At a secluded area near the barracks, surrounded by no other intruding cadets, they sat cross-legged in a small circle. Armin felt like this was the safest he had ever been since  **_that_ ** day. He knew he wasn’t alone in that line of thinking. Mikasa’s kind smile and open eyes, along with Eren’s peaceful expression and relaxed shoulders were clear indicators.

 

During a lull in the conversation, Armin decided to strike. “What do you guys think of the others in our training regiment?”

 

Eren’s eyes immediately started to blaze with a fire that rivaled the sun. His mouth curled in disgust. “They are all a bunch of bitchy cowards.” Unsurprised at Eren’s response, Armin ignored him, hoping in vain that Eren would become more rational if he was ignored enough. 

 

Mikasa, on the other hand, gave some  _ nice,  _ **_rational_ ** answers that actually were useful. Her face remained blank as she said,”There are quite a few that could become allies, but a few are off. Something is strange about them and I don’t ever think I could trust them.”

 

Unfortunately, Armin thought that aligned closely to what he thought.

 

“Alright. We need to figure out which people are going to be our allies. This is a group decision. But first we need to know more about these potential allies.”

 

Eren’s eyebrows scrunched up. “ What does that even mean?”

 

Before Armin even opened his mouth, Mikasa answered,”It means we need to watch everyone and write down each person’s good and bad parts.” Her scarf was pulled up, muffling her next next words. “If I am putting our lives in their hands, we need to know more about them. Strengths, weaknesses, and goals.”

 

Eren’s confused expression cleared. His mouth pulled into a grim line. “Okay. How are we going to do this.”

 

===========

 

_ “Eren, you will have Reiner, Bertholdt, and Jean. No arguing. Find strengths, weaknesses, or any important things you notice. Write them down as soon as you can. We need to know if we can trust them, not if you like them.” _

 

Eren didn’t like this.

 

He hated being so critical of those he should be able to trust. But he also couldn’t bring himself to trust them. Especially with Armin and Mikasa.

 

So he dedicated time to watch these three people, when they were either alone or with others. When they were training or not also made a difference. Habits and frequently used techniques were written down. Everything he saw was recorded in a journal Armin used for this purpose only, in the hopes of finding useful information.

 

_ “Don’t let any of the past change how you deal with the situation Eren. Armin needs good facts so we can make a decision.” _

 

Eren wished he could say that he didn’t make biased observations, but he did.

 

He  _ knew _ that Bertholdt was trustworthy. He always helped anyone to the best of his ability. He was a talented soldier that had a kind heart. He was protective of his friends, despite his meek personality.

 

He  _ knew _ that no matter how big of a dick Jean was, he was trustworthy. He seemed passionate, even if it was for selfish reasons. Eren could reluctantly admit Jean was talented. 

 

He  **_knew_ ** Reiner was trustworthy. He was kind. He genuinely wanted to help all his fellow trainees. He was humble even though he was clearly one of the best in the 104th. Reiner acted as a big brother to everyone. He was a confidant, a mentor, a  _ safe haven _ to others. If Reiner wasn’t trustworthy, then Eren couldn’t trust anyone besides Armin and Mikasa.

 

So Eren did the bare minimum. Why worry about the trustworthiness of trustworthy people? He would not only put his life in their hands in a life or death situation, but he might even trust them with Armin and Mikasa.

 

=============

 

_ “I will take care of Marco, Krista, and Ymir. Since they aren’t that big of fighters, I will probably focus on behaviors.” _

 

Armin wasn’t that surprised with his results.

 

Ymir wasn’t trustworthy. She seemed loyal only to Krista. Armin just couldn’t figure out what made her tick. This frustrated him more than anything.

 

Krista was lying about something, making her untrustworthy until they figured out what she was hiding. Krista just screamed a lack of a genuine personality.

 

Marco was trustworthy, but would never go through the process to get a piece of twine. So Armin only got the necessary information for him.

 

================

 

_ “Mikasa, you focus on Sasha, Connie, and Annie.” _

 

Mikasa was thorough in her investigation. She was glad for it too.

 

Sasha and Connie were completely trustworthy. They were good allies to have. And they had some talents.

 

Annie on the other hand, was a bitch.

 

At the beginning it was easy. It was only collecting some information. She didn’t get have to deal with all this crazy shit.

 

Annie had the demeanor of a predator, but would she ally herself with other predators? The answer seemed to be no. Annie was a lone wolf. But she had the potential to become a powerful ally.

 

To test the amount of talent Annie had Mikasa put herself up against her constantly. Anywhere Annie was, Mikasa was there pushing for competition. It took a little pressure, but when Mikasa broke through the apathy, she was shocked.

 

Steam.

 

The bitch  _ steamed _ like a baked potato. 

 

When Mikasa learned new moves from Annie, she purposely tried to draw blood and bruise. And while they continued to fight something never failed to pull at Mikasa’s attention. Little wisps curled out of a open cut or from the surface of a bruise.

 

It  _ pissed _ Mikasa off. How dare Annie try to act like she didn’t heal faster than everyone else? How could she act like she was just a naturally good fighter when she had special abilities? How  _ dare _ she use those powers to be better than both Eren and Armin?

 

Her apathy towards obviously being in the top ten makes more sense. It angered Mikasa to a point of rage that could be seen in Eren’s Titan rants. This power means Annie is a predator taking advantage of her prey, not just following the natural order. She treats her prey and fellow predators as if they couldn’t possibly pose a threat.

 

Mikasa would prove her dead wrong.

 

============

 

“I don’t trust someone.  When do we get rid of them? And what is the best way to do it?”

 

Armin choked on his own spit, his breaths starting to come out in coughs. Eren firmly patted his back to help him get his breathing under control. But his eyes went straight to Mikasa,”Who?”

 

Armin snapped upwards, his hands thrown out as if to stop the conversation. He hissed,”Are you guys crazy? We can’t kill anyone. Definitely not right now. There is too high a chance we will get caught.” His eyes flicked back and forth between the other two. “You understand, no killing without a plan.”

 

Eren looked vaguely insulted. “We wouldn’t kill them right away. But we need to avoid any traitors or future traitors.”

 

Even Mikasa looked shocked at Eren calm attitude. “Well… I was hoping to stage a little … accident for someone. It would need to not look like a murder, too many people care and know about this person.” Mikasa picked her words carefully.

 

Eren looked apprehensive. “Don’t Tell me it’s Sasha.”

 

At this Mikasa’s grim line of a mouth twitched. “Sadly we aren’t killing Sasha. It’s Annie I want to kill.”

 

Armin looked thoughtful. He started up a swift pacing pattern. His movements sharp and sure from training. But his face quickly flickered through different expressions.

 

Eren moved over to Mikasa, pinching her one of her colorful pieces of twine. She in turn wrapped her fist in his necklace of murder.

 

“We can arrange for her to die between graduation and trainees moving to their new divisions. It will need to be quick. We can make it look like an accident with all the drinking and partying that will happen that night.”

 

Armin didn’t want to mention that he hoped they couldn’t go through with it if he could get the other two drunk enough. He actually liked this period of not killing people, plus it felt weird killing a fellow cadet.

 

But he didn’t say anything as Mikasa’s small smile became pleased and Eren’s smile became a gleeful grin.

 

———————-

 

**_Liquid fire ran up my veins. It cracked and melted the solid walls of my heart. Arms and legs tingled. Fingers and toes numbed. My throat caught aflame and stung with a poison akin to a bee’s sting._ **

 

_ Expanding. I want to stop expanding.  _ **_Please Dad, why am I expanding._ **

 

**_Terror enveloped my childlike mind for the last time._ ** _ Expanding. _

 

**_I am the monster made of nightmares._ **

 

**_Dad, please forgive me. The apple was too sweet. The juice was the color of Hell, but tasted like Heaven. Please forgive me. The fruit had such a delicious texture. The core had a satisfying crunch._ **

 

**_But father, I beg you, forgive me. I ate the two seeds of the apple._ **

 

**_And I can’t regret it._ **

 

**_But now I search, there must be more apples that taste even sweeter._ **

 

===================

 

Eren jerked awake from his nightmare with the taste of something sweet in his mouth. Sweat drenched him. His chest heaved in gulping gasps. Eren’s sweaty sheets tangled around his sweaty legs.

 

When he looked around the barrack, he noticed no one was awake. Thankfully he didn’t wake anybody up. As he laid trying to calm his racing heart and gasping lungs, Eren figured out what he should do next.

 

The windows showed it was dark.  _ Fuck _ .

 

Needing to hear someone’s heartbeat, Eren shakily stood up from bed. His muscle sore from today’s hand-to-hand sparring with Krista and Ymir. Not wanting to wake up any of the other cadets, he padded over to Armin’s bed. His pulse was slowly settling. Eren’s breaths were slowing again.

 

He slipped in between Armin covers. Knowing Armin would startle awake he kept his face in front of Armin’s. As predicted, when the mattress shifted, Armin’s eyes snapped open. Eren kept his movements slow. He reached out to Armin’s chest. Despite being startled, Armin let him count his heartbeats. Eren brushed his foot against Armin’s ankle, the twine helped calm hime down.

 

Until the sun rose, Eren tried to focus on Armin’s heartbeat and not the addicting taste in his mouth.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> What do you give think? Feedback is appreciated.
> 
> I wrote more so the wait was longer. Was it too long of a wait?


	4. Separate the Colors or Blend Them?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The time has come. The trio will need to choose. What do they want to do now?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the long wait.
> 
> VIEWER DISCRETION IS ADVISED.PLEASE LOOK AT TAGS IF YOU ARE SENSITIVE TO CERTAIN CONTENT!
> 
> ********Manga Spoilers********

Armin knew that Eren would need to murder soon. His temper was too short and he was constantly picking fights. His eyes were showing too much. The others were getting too suspicious.

 

Armin would have to pick a target, plan out the murder, and cover it up. It was weighing on him. Dark circles plagued his eyes. Nightmares sent him crawling into Eren or Mikasa’s arms. He hated choosing who would live or die, whose crimes were worse. But, it was either them or Eren. And Armin would make sure Eren lived to see the ocean.

 

During one of these sleepless night Armin slipped out of the barracks. The chill air making the hair on his arms stand up. His breath was visible against the night sky. He leaned up against the rough siding.

 

Who could Eren kill?

 

Criminals? No. Armin didn’t have the time and freedom to hunt down any criminals. 

 

The Traitor? Not a bad plan. Annie got way too close to them without suspicion.

 

How can he protect Mikasa and Eren from them when he is so weak? He was supposed to be the smart one, the one with all the plans.

 

Would Mikasa need to be involved? She got less antsy than Eren without killing, but Armin knew that soon enough she would also need to pick up a knife.

 

But how would they kill Annie without raising any alarms?

 

A creak of the door startled Armin out of his thoughts. He relaxed his tense muscles when he saw a flash of gold swinging. He puffed out a large cloud as he turned to look back up at the sky. White light twinkled against a black background. 

 

Near-silent footsteps crept towards him. “You should sleep. You’re going to start sleep during training if you don’t sleep enough.”

 

Armin let out a small grunt of displeasure. Eren’s loud tone had shattered the quiet night air so abruptly.

 

Arms wound around Armin’s ribcage. Eren buried his face in Armin’s hair, “You’re cold, come back in the dorms. You can sleep in my bed.”

 

He leaned back into Eren’s chest. A small hum came from Armin’s chest. “Just give me a minute.”

 

He needed a plan soon.

 

\-------------------------

 

Mkasa felt a tension build in her chest. Her rib cage cracking with her beating heart.

 

Top trainee in the 104th. She was ranked the best by Shadis and the other trainers. If only they knew why her wrists were colorful. Why she was so ruthless.

 

Her fists tightened, drawing beads of blood. 

 

The Traitor was right next to Eren. With every breath she had to keep from digging her fingers in Annie’s eyes.

 

The only thing keeping her from acting was the thought of Eren and Armin. Eren’s determined eyes kept her feet in place and Armin’s deceivingly nice smile kept her face blank and forward.

 

She faced her “superiors” knowing that they expected her to choose the MP, all except those who actually interacted with Eren, Armin, and her. Anyone who talked with Eren for even a minute knew that he would go to the Scouts. Those that knew there dynamic even a little knew how they were a unit, so if one went the Scouts, the other two would follow.

 

She inhaled slowly, filling her lungs in preparation for tonight. Armin and she had talked about what might happen tonight. Mostly likely, Eren would end up ranting at someone (probably Jean) about their choice. They were ready to interfere if anything got too physical. But only when blood was on the verge of being drawn.

 

Because they knew Eren was was persuasive enough, why not let him convince a few soldiers to fight for freedom? It might even be entertaining.

 

\-----------------

 

Keith took a slow breath. He knew tonight was important, he could feel it in his bones. These brats were potential game changers.

 

Of all those who he had trained from spineless worm to titan fodder, he could tell a few in the 104th were special. It all depended on where they ended up.

 

The soft click of boots on stone drew Keith’s attention. Sharp blue eyes and bushy eyebrows caused Keith to turn towards the incoming man. “Smith, why in the fresh hell are you here? Shouldn’t you be asleep?” He let some concern bleed into his tone.

 

All he got in response was a polite smile. “I was going to ask about the trainees that are coming from the 104th. What are some things I should expect?”

 

Keith gave Smith a grunt in response. Turning away from him to look out a window he said,” You are going to be a lucky bastard this time around.”

 

A hum. “How so?”

 

Keith paused trying to figure out how to word the weirdness of the 104th. “I can tell you right now you have at least three going to you. ”

 

Another hum. “How can you be sure they are going to the Scouts?”

 

Keith couldn’t have stopped the snort if he tried. He guessed he would have to explain the situation better to stop such stupidity spew out of Smith’s mouth. “You will know them when you see them.” His sunken eyes focused back on the straight-backed Smith. “So you don’t waste time and lives, under  **no** circumstances should you seperate those three. You may want to just to so how they work individually, but those jackasses are a danger to everyone, including themselves, when apart. Just… don’t do it.”

 

Keith saw Smith’s eyebrows furrow and all he could help thinking was  _ don’t play with this fire, this issue will only hurt those around them.  _ Keith’s mind couldn’t stop memories of the Jaeger family and flashes of training.  _ Just let it be, that is the only way we can all come out unscathed. _

 

\-----------------------------------

 

Eren’s blood was roaring. His vision red. His hands clenched.

 

_ Those fucking cowards. _

 

Could they all really not see the only way to be truly free was fighting in the Survey Corps?

 

Footsteps. “Eren?” Mikasa.

 

_ Calm down _ . Taking a deep breath he sat on the cobbled staircase his muddled mind stopped him at.  _ Remember what you need to say. _ Anger beat against his veins. _ Control yourself for once in your goddamn life _ . “Mikasa.” Turning slightly he noticed the other person. “Armin.”

 

He clenched his hands into his pants while turning away from them. He couldn't face them during this conversation.

 

“I am going to join the Scouts. I don’t know what you two will choose. Mikasa, your best choice is the military police. Armin, your skills would be more suited in the Garrison. I have made my decision.” 

 

As he took a calming breath to address another thing, his head was hit so hard that he was sent flying down the other three steps to the cobbled street.  **_Ow._ ** When he recovered from his shock and looked up he saw Mikasa’s eyes wide and cheeks flushed red. But her gaze was not trained on him. 

 

His breath shuddered in his chest when he looked over to Armin.

 

Armin’s hand was cradled to his chest. His shoulders were hunched and his head bowed. His face was covered in a curtain of golden hair but even more worrying was his shaking shoulders.

 

_ Oh no… he’s crying. _ Guilt lancing through him, Eren started to stand to comfort Armin, Mikasa’s hand reached out to reassure when the first giggle ripped out of Armin’s shaking form.

 

Time froze.

 

Eren paused mid crouch. 

 

“You-you think that is what I-either of us wan-need.” Armin’s voice was broken with giggles, but as Eren noticed him raising his face, Eren noticed tear tracks. “I- _ we _ need you. We would follow you into a swarm of Titans if you asked us to. Why would you think we would split apart from you now?” By now his giggles dissolved into sobs completely. “Why would you even bring that up? Do you want us to leave you?”

 

When Eren saw Mikasa’s face morph into panic and whip towards him he must have messed up horrifically.

 

“Wait! No I don’t  _ want _ you to leave, but you guys should have to feel like you  **have** to come to the Scouts with me!”

 

Panic turned to fury. “If we didn’t want to be here with you right now, why would we have followed you so far! We would have left by now if we didn’t want to be with you! You idiot,  we love you!”

 

Time paused once again.

 

The unspoken had been spoken.

 

Eren knew he needed to say something now.

 

_ Don’t be a coward. _

 

He pushed words out of his tightened throat. “I love you guys too.” With the words finally said his eyes fluttered shut.

 

Footsteps. Hands. Arms. Pulling. Embracing.

 

Perfection.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Again sorry for the long wait. Finals and depression are kicking my ass. My upload schedule is pretty inconsistent so I apologize.
> 
> Please tell me what you guys think. Characteriazation okay? Because I was have so many issues with this chapter I am still not happy with it, honestly not sure how I could have even made it less wonky. :/
> 
> Feedback is always appreciated.


End file.
